WHATEVER!… REALLY?

by Marc Freden, Author of “Really!?!”

Whatever happened to the word ‘whatever’? It was everywhere and omnipresent in our dialogue. Kids would say it in rebellion, adults would say it with dismissal, and even news reports peppered it as if to connote there was no answer to the hypothesis present. It was a good word with so much meaning in a world where so very many words have just one meaning. This was vernacular at its best—a universal term that can simply say it all without ever saying anything of significance.

There was even a symbol making it a word even the deaf people could understand—bilingual bi-function, who couldn’t love that. But, of course, in by saying the deaf, I am not referring to the hard of hearing for they have a language all their own and most certainly there is a sign for the word ‘whatever’. What I’m referring to is the deaf of thought…those who refuse to hear what they are actually listening to.  It happens all the time and not just with rebellious teenagers. Have you ever noticed how quick a hearing impairment appears just when you are asking the boss for a promotion, a new mate for a date or to borrow money?  So a symbol was born. A “W”, made from the connection of the two thumbs at their tips and extending the index finger out, said it all without ever having to say anything.  (You should remember though, that just one of such thumb and forefinger extensions formerly connoted the international sign for ‘Loser’.  And I don’t think it is a coincidence that the ‘Loser’ sign connected to its inverse makes a ‘Whatever’.  Language can be so mystical and mysterious. Whatever!

So where did it go…this wondrous word ‘whatever’?  It is not as if it slipped off the pages of the Oxford dictionary. The word still exists…just not in its fun form…it is, quite frankly, a lingual footnote in periodic societal diction. Whatever…talk to the hand!

But is that such a bad thing?  Not when a newer model steps in to fill in the snarky need.  It is a word more aggressive than passive, more proactive than reactive, more in your face than on your mind. That word:  ‘Really!’

For whatever ‘Whatever’ meant to the world, ‘Really’ takes it a bold step further. ‘Really’ is a downright argument—a punctuation and a question—that leaves the recipient both wondering and introspective. For it forces thought by forcing the rethink.

On an innocuous level, ‘Really’ is the ultimate answer, when you have no answer to give. For instance, a question is asked—no matter the subject matter—and the clever and, yes, appropriate question for an answer is easily and always “Really?” It conveniently acknowledges the question, even presumes the answer never given is correct, and everyone is sated. “Really!” (the exclamation) is always appropriate when a fun fact is spit out and you the person hearing it wants to contribute but has nothing really to say.  I encourage everyone to try them both during day-to-day inane conversation. You will look like quite the cunning linguist!

But perhaps my favorite use of the word is as a witty and rapier retort to all things ‘stupid’.  You see there used to be a time of salons, great and abstract thinkers getting together to discuss and debate ideas, which shaped societal collective thinking.  Imagine such a thing today? (Insert either a “Really?” or “Really!” there. That is a perfect example of how interchangeable punctuation can make the very same point. And who doesn’t love that option.)  Tea parties have been replaced with the ‘Tea Party’ and the give and take of intellect is now a matter of he who speaks the loudest wins.  And in this day and age, there seems to be more downright stupid than substantial.  Even the blowhard is about blowing hardest. ‘Really’ is simply a new millennium way for the thinking man to respond to the world around us—as evolutionary as the loss of the prehensile tail and the development of the opposable thumb.  The shock and awe upon hearing sheer ignorance can be best indicated with both a curt or boisterous “Really!” with out so much as the offending speaker of said ignorance understanding the implication.  It is sarcasm and satisfaction at its best. And better yet, other thinking men are in on the joke.

Though much more adaptable than a simple ‘Whatever’, I fear that ‘Really’ will also only have a shelf life of a certain time. As people get meaner and more self absorbed, we will simply have to find something more biting, questioning and verbally hobbling.  A simply ‘f**k you’ comes to mind and, if you think about it, has been creeping into ordinary vernacular with a certain frequency like never before. But until a ‘f**k you’ is considered less of a swear word and more of retort to swear by, the thinking man will hang on to ‘Really’.  Because there is no better ‘f**k you’ than that a person who doesn’t understand they have just been cut to the quick by a simple ‘Really?’  Now you really are a cunning linguist. And to that, I say “REALLY!”